Oedipus Lex

Like the half-starved, exhausted remnants of Charles Edward’s army at Culloden, an Itinerant team, lacking the dashing verve of their batsmen, gathered at a ground familiar only to a few veterans. Among their hastily assembled ranks there numbered the hung-over, the unpractised and the perennially untalented. Yet a dogged determination prevailed: these men would stand together, they would drop catches together and they would sacrifice their wickets together and like no other.

To the field they took. Most just wanted a rest, some pork based fancies or a cup of tea but it wasn’t to happen. Led by the irrepressible Bonnie Prince Tanner they formed their battle lines and awaited the onslaught stoically. The House of Hannover (Not the MCC) opened hostilities with Perks and the predictably German sounding Hamer das Boot. Sensing an easy victory, they strode out purposefully. Tanner led from the front and staked his intentions from the off. They may have been weakened but they were by no means out of the fight. He bowled with pinpoint accuracy swinging the ball in off a length. While the batsmen showed young Tanner a fine array of flourished defenses and streaky singles, their arrogance was to be their downfall as Behl showed the awe-inspiring effectiveness of the highland charge (or a big Aussie with lamb chop sidies steaming in). The first five wickets all fell to the big man, including 3 with timbers shattered in consecutive blows. Yet this team were no one man band, this was not a duel but a battle. Wilson took two stunning catches in the field: one coming out the sun, from his versatile leader’s devious bowling and one low to his right (his dive for the cameras, making it look harder than it actually was). MacKinnon behind the stumps let nothing through and threatened, constantly, to stump any errant batsman: his fine performance was capped with a full length dive to his left to take a sublime catch in his weaker hand, from the marauding Beckman. Davis, bristling with venom as usual, broke any remnants of a stand while Hutchinson mopped up the survivors. Finally, Behl struck once more with the assistance of a well held catch from the hithertofore lackadaisical Bowman.

198 was the final score posted in a little past 35 overs. With a full strength unit the LICCs could expect to mop this up with time to spare, yet they were without their main hitter and it showed. Wilson and MacKinnon, two heroes in the field, strapped up and stepped out to face the best their enemy could throw at them. MacKinnon playing with flare in his usual cavalier manner was cut short after 4 balls: it seems so many hours behind the stumps had taken their toll as he fell for a duck. Don, undeterred by the loss of such a big name stepped into his place and played a vital role with Wilson in seeing off the new ball. Indeed, the latter’s score of 10 before his unlucky demise did not reflect fairly the actions of the man. Bowman, another clearly exhausted by the efforts earlier in the day, fell for a primary. Yet there was a glimmer of hope. Galagedera, who had been in self-imposed exile for so long, stepped into the breach and stemmed the flow, swinging his way to a well fought 49. With Don falling on 6, Sadler stepped forward next, offering resolute defiance with every nonchalant leave. He held out for several overs, yet he could do little in the face of such overwhelming odds. Davis, hostile as ever, swore, cursed and flailed his was to 21 but could do no more. Behl, the hero of so many engagements held his own and plundered one last defiant six, as his captain cut his way to 4 and then out.

67 runs short was the eventual total. Not the MCC may have had their victory but it was certain to be Pyrrhic, such was the intensity and ferocity with which the Itinerants defended their rain soaked patch of Wandsworth that day.

(Due to the kind of memory that means he annually forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, the author can not vouch for the accuracy of any facts, cricketing or historical.)